Dylan is just a few days shy of 5 months old now which is great, but that also means we have a baby who’s fine motor skills are getting…finer. Gone are the days of showing him a toy and he starts looking away. Gone are the days of simply handing him a toy and he plays with it for seven seconds before it is dropped on the floor. Now we usher in the era of “What’s that? Let me grab it! And put it in my mouth!” Whatdaya got there? Hair? Let me get a fistful of that and a get a taste. Hey, what’s that on the table? A glass? Just let me throw myself forward, headfirst, to grab that. Hey, that shirt your wearing isn’t a scoop neck, let me fix that. This is Graby McGrab Grab…and nothing is safe.

Dylan Drools McGee used to have a mouth. I don’t don’t how he got the money to change it, but that mouth was replaced a well of never ending drool. See, Drools LOVES to eat his fingers. Sometimes it’s one finger, sometimes two fingers, but it’s usually closer to nine fingers at once. The drool and spit are literally dripping from his fingers when he’s done. Even when fingers aren’t in season, there is a constant droplet of drool just waiting to fall and mat down your arm hair. Drools also seemed have replaced his chin with a sponge with a absurd capacity of holding liquid. To try and wipe it dry is an exercise in futility.

Drool’s brother Spitty McGee likes to stop by every and again, just to check in. Spitty loves to leave his white chunky mark on black shirts and couches. Spitty has taken a liking to using my open hand to catch his presents that have begun it smell a little. It’s always a good time when Spitty and Drools get together and hang out on my lap.

Sir Yells Alot is new to the gang but is fitting in nicely. Yells Alot doesn’t really have cause to yell about these days, so he’s randomly practicing his high notes with a giant smile on his face throughout the day. His visits are fun though, they always make me smile.

I don’t know what happened to my son, but these…let’s call them alter ego’s, are taking over. It’s sad to see Dylan move on from his tunnel vision interest in nipples to other things. He’s growing up…and it’s riot to watch.