Posts tagged pregnant

This morning I was having my daily pep talk with the Little Cagefighter and I offered him 100 bucks if he came out today. 

We shall see…

Today we hit the hospital on the advice from the on-call doctor in the practice due to many contractions within an hour. From the title, I’m sure you can gather that we left the labor and delivery unit with the baby still chilling inside Christina’s belly. 

In any event, Christina seemed to catch some pretty strong contractions today which means yay for progress and boo for the pain. We did learn that there is A LOT of fluid around the baby, which is good for the baby, not so much for my poor wife. The extra fluid makes movement more painful then it should be, with all the extra weight and all. Long story short, there was talk of a possible c-section today seeing the baby’s estimated weight (7 lbs. 12 oz.), Chris’s small stature, and the amount of contractions. Thankfully, that idea was axed. 

With no dilation and only 30% effacement, they sent us home with the hope that this could be early labor. Now, I knew going into the hospital, she wasn’t in labor and there was a very slim chance the Little Cagefighter would make an appearance today but I couldn’t help but feel like one of those TV sitcom cliches. You know, rushing off to the hospital only to find out the “contractions” were just gas pains. But hey, the on call doctor told us to go, the contractions are real and we may be in business soon. 

Wrong.

Today’s doctor appointment went OK, aside from the fact that we’ve made pretty much no progress and the baby is getting bigger.

With the baby getting bigger and Christina becoming more uncomfortable (i.e. some kind of pain or another), the tension is surely mounting around here.

On my part, for the past week I’ve been giving the little guy pep talks that ranged from the silly and sweet to more stern, in order to help coax him out. He’s so grounded when when he finally comes home.

Christina is in constant pain, the house is ready…what’s the hold up?

Apparently, my son still thinks his rightful place is inside Christina’s uterus. What he doesn’t know is that he’ll have so much more room out here in the land of the living. We have all this cool shit in the house for him, many people who are waiting on baited breath to meet him, and parent’s whose cool level is through the roof. His decision to stay on the inside is truly testing the physical and mental limits of his mother.

Christina is pretty much in constant pain from pelvic pressure, heartburn, and the occasional contraction. I do what I can to help…but really there’s not much I can do. I honestly feel terrible that I can’t do more, but I guess it is what it is.

We’re in the home stretch now.

It’s officially 37 weeks and we can officially try some natural induction methods to push this little guy out. We just got back from the doc and according to him our little one is about 7 pounds and can come out now if he wants.

He doesn’t.

So in order to prevent a possible c-section, we plan on trying some of natural induction remedies. Whether they work or not is up for debate but it can’t hurt to try.

Well…actually it can hurt, that’s pretty much the point…to start labor. And from what I hear, labor is a little rough. 

The past week or so Christina’s been having some contractions, very irregular and sporadic, but contractions nonetheless. We had an appointment with the doc yesterday and was kinda sorta hoping for some dilatation news. Well, it’s a no go on the dilatation but he did drop a little science on us before he ran out the door.

He said, “I have some news for you. I’m looking at you and I’m feeling the baby…I don’t think he’s coming out on his own. I think we’ll probably have to do a c-section by your due date.” A few things here:

1. Christina is really small, like under 5 feet tall small, so she doesn’t have the longest torso so Dylan is in a pretty cramped space now.
2. Our baby is a nice size as of right now making things a little more difficult.
3. Christina was really hoping for a natural delivery.

With all those factors in play here, we asked the doc if it was OK to proceed with some natural birth inducing acts and remedies in hopes that if he comes early we have a shot at vaginal delivery. He gave us the OK as of next Tuesday, the 37 week mark.

Fingers crossed… 

Throughout my life I’ve named a lot things, mostly inanimate objects that have no business getting named. For example, in high school, I named my Swiss Army knife Gill, after Robert DeNiro’s character (a knife salesman) in The Fan. Sure, I’ve named a few pets, I named my cat Iggy after Iggy Pop and my hermit crab was named Jared. Yes, I did in fact name a pet hermit crab after myself. I felt it was appropriate.

When it came down to naming our first born, I leaned more toward the different then Christina did. I liked names like Ragnar, Bane, and Iggy Pop (yes, I wanted to name my son after the coolest human still drawing breath) just to name a few. Christina, while not totally ruling out Bane as a middle name, or Iggy Pop for that matter, took a more middle of the road approach. She’s always been the voice of reason in our little operation, so Ragnar was out.

So a few months ago, after a lot strikes, we finally hit a homerun. The Little Cagefighter’s full name is Dylan Hendrix McGuckin.

The both of us love the name Dylan and I’m pretty partial to Bob Dylan myself so that’s a winner. The middle name, Hendrix, is named after Jimi Hendrix, obviously. McGuckin..well sorry kiddo, that’s the last name they stuck me with.

When I told my best friend the name we decided on he responded with, “Well, his old hippie teachers are gonna love him.”

I came across this little “joke but not really” test, just thought I’d share it along with some reactions.

Via http://parents.berkeley.edu/jokes/parentingtest.html:

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY

MESS TEST

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.

We don’t have curtains, so HA! We can always flip the sofa cushions and again, we don’t have a flower bed. So I think we’re safe here. If all else fails, I’ll just eat all the peanut butter. Problem solved. Next.

Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Well, it’s the middle of July and those frozen fish sticks are filled with all kinds of preservatives, so we might be in the clear for this one. Oh, and we don’t buy or eat fish sticks so…problem solved. Moving on…

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

Ok, I’ve stepped on Legos, I’m well aware of the pain and fury that accompanies such a traumatic experience. Wait, I’m supposed to do this BEFORE the baby comes? That doesn’t sound smart at all.

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

I live in a pretty ghetto area where half eaten fruit is left on grocery store shelves, an open bag of Cheese Doodles is the least of their concerns.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

Wait…my kid’s gonna have eight tentacles? The What To Expect book never said that…

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

 This just seems like a fun drinking game to me. 

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM.  Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

I think I’ll pass on this one. Sounds like a Mom thing anyway.

PHYSICAL TEST

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

Bean bag chairs are light as hell, I don’t what all you preggers are complaining about. Jeeze…

Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Who the hell buys newspapers anymore? 

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child’s discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.

 Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

I see what you did there.

With only five weeks until your official due date, life is already moving so fast. I’ve been spending my days readying our apartment for your arrival. I’m realizing that while I’m starting a new routine being home and getting ready everything ready, I’m going to have to start another new routine when you get here. That’s a lot of change for a guy who likes to keep things the same. I thought I’d write a few things down to help your mother and me remember where we came from and maybe give you a glimpse of how things were before you became our focus.

• Before you,  I took a few bucks from every paycheck and bought some DVD’s and toys. All that cool stuff on the shelves behind the glass cases makes our living room the coolest room in the house and keeps Mommy and me from being too grown up.
• Before you, Mommy and I were supposed to take a trip to Iceland and Norway. We were going to a Beard and Mustache competition where I was going to enter and march in the Norwegian Constitution Day Parade. When we found out Mommy couldn’t go, we had to cancel. I know we’ll get there someday, except now we’re going to have to book tickets for three. It’s going to be awesome.
• Before you, Mommy and I didn’t really do much. We were “homebody’s” but life started to get boring. When we got the news you were inside Mommy, suddenly we felt like we had a purpose and it would be a long time before life got boring again. Never had we looked forward to such responsibly. 
• Before you, I had Mommy all to myself. We would do everything together and for each other. I used to get home and look forward to seeing Mommy and she did the same. We would do and say things to make each other laugh, jokes only we thought were funny. Mommy makes me feel so very special and I’m pretty sure I do the same to her. Now that you’re almost here…I can’t wait to share that with you.